yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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