Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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