Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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