erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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