dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
