its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
