maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
