I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
