a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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