Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.

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(949): View more from California

I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage

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(705): View more from Ontario

You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".

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(740): View more from Ohio

becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.

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(406): View more from Montana

Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.

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(562): View more from California

guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".

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(614): View more from Ohio

When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?

(330): View more from Ohio

Come on... He's just practicing.

(614): View more from Ohio

Ok. That's acceptable.

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(343): View more from Ontario

there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer

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