If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
