dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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