Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
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