mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I am naked and annoyed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
