May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
