I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Randomize
