Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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