Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
