Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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