Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
