Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize