How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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