just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Boobs are out for the taking
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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