After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
