Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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