I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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