The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
