3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
