I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
