the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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