i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
