One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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