Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want to have your abortion
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
