after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
