How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
they need to just BURY HIM!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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