Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Your penis caused this!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
