There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
