Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
