if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
