I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
