i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
