I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
