Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
MIDGETS
????
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
