the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The power of my boobs compel you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
