just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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