My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
