We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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