we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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