My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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