If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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