Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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