Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
