My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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