Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
