2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
