Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
