note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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