When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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