Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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