i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
